


tears you've let fall

by kakkoweeb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:37:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10541289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakkoweeb/pseuds/kakkoweeb
Summary: The tears you've let fall are jewels that adorn my fingers, sparkling.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hello again! i'm back with more oikage lmao
> 
> in actuality, this was written sometime december last year as my entry for the oikage zine! the physical copies have already been shipped (though mine has yet to arrive hfgfb does anyone know how long it takes for things to get shipped from the usa to asia?) and so we're allowed to post our full works now! and, as is the usual whenever a zine related happening is happening, i am going full on promo! digital zines are still available for purchase and they're having a free giveaway [here](http://oikagezine.tumblr.com/post/159165926221/were-giving-away-a-digital-copy-merch-bundle)!! it ends april 10th, so if you want a great digital oikage bible and some merch, you better reblog/retweet fast!!

Tobio doesn’t think he can remember all the times, all the circumstances under which he’s seen Tooru cry, but there are five he’s certain he won’t ever forget.

The first is when he’s thirteen, right as his first year in junior high comes to a close. Tooru’s junior high volley is over, he’s emotional, but Tobio doesn’t quite understand what makes him cry. After all, there’s still high school. He doesn’t even listen to the things Tooru (Oikawa-san) tells him, only offers a tissue so that he can blow his nose, watches as Tooru yells a stubborn, “Shut up!” before taking the thing anyway.

(He doesn’t see Tooru cry in high school, barely sees him at all—but he’s in Tobio’s mind so often that the figure, the face, the voice that Tobio visualizes, alone in his thoughts, might as well be the real thing.)

The second is something Tobio doesn’t, and may never, truly understand. They go the same university, are part of the same volleyball team once again, and one afternoon after practice he sees Tooru (Oikawa-san) by himself in a corner, shrinking into himself, choking back tears, failing. Tobio tries to approach, tries to make things better, but then he’s told to go away and he doesn’t dare test the ferocity in Tooru’s voice so he complies, afraid to take one last glance back.

(They don’t speak for a while after that and it’s almost as if they don’t know each other—until he starts hearing Tooru’s voice again, little by little, and he feels like they’ve just met, that they’ve started again with a clean slate.)

The third is on the court itself, the two of them on the same side of the net. It’s the Finals, it’s Tooru’s (Oikawa’s) final collegiate game, they’re but a point away from the title, and it’s Tobio’s toss that gets the final say, Tobio’s toss that shatters the wall separating their team and victory. But Tooru isn’t angry, isn’t even disappointed. He grins while the rest of the team screams, tears running down his face, and then he’s running to Tobio, wrapping him in an embrace, and saying in a voice that trembles and yet is filled with conviction: “Nice toss.”

(Months after that, Tooru kisses him and he nearly overloads when the sensations—the warmth, the rapid beating of his heart, the neglect of breathing in favour of moving his lips with Tooru’s—become too much.)

The fourth is when Tooru wakes from a nightmare, two years after they get their bearings on their complicated emotions. It’s four in the morning. Tobio’s in bed until he feels Tooru beside him sit up, making small noises, and when he finally meets Tobio’s concerned gaze, his eyes are wet, cheeks long-since drenched. He only shakes his head when Tobio asks what it’s about, but Tobio holds Tooru (Tooru-san) anyway, stroking his head, trying to calm his breathing and the quaking of his shoulders.

(It’s one hell of a roller coaster, the two of them living together, and when the ride flips upside down it’s far from pleasant, but the exciting climb and exhilarating rush downward, clinging to each other, make it all worth it.)

And the fifth is after a long, long day—the two of them sweaty, exhausted after a trip that took Tobio months to arrange. They climb the stairs to a viewing deck with a great view of the lights below and the mountains in the horizon and the starlight above, and they’re both panting when they get to the top but Tooru smiles up at the stars anyway and he’s so _beautiful_ Tobio can’t help but fiddle with the tiny box inside his pocket.

Tooru talks of aliens and heavenly bodies and the wonder of life and Tobio listens keenly, asks questions, watches as Tooru grins, satisfied with his genuine interest. But it’s much later on that Tooru cries, much later on after a brief, peaceful silence that Tobio takes as a sign that it’s time: time to tell Tooru how much he loves him, to get down on one knee and hold up a box with a diamond-encrusted ring blinking up at Tooru, trying to outshine the stars in the sky.

For what seems like forever, Tooru stills, but then he brings his hands to his mouth and he’s already nodding as the tears pour out of his eyes, running down his face to accompany his broad smile. He holds Tobio close, Tobio holds him closer; they envelope themselves in each other’s warmth underneath the cover of stars until Tooru is lightly giggling, whispering, “I can’t believe you got to ask first. I was supposed to beat you to it,” in between sniffles.

Tobio lets out a breathless laugh, pulls away and pulls a single tissue out of his pocket. “You should wipe your nose first before you talk about beating me again,” he says, and it’s almost as if they’re still awkward enemies from junior high when, in reality, so much has changed.

The smile on Tooru’s face is priceless—amused and knowing—and he takes the tissue almost stubbornly, accompanied by a, “Shut up,” he doesn’t really mean.

Maybe not that many things have changed, Tobio thinks as Tooru pokes him playfully on the nose before blowing his own; Tooru’s still a crybaby and it’s still Tobio who comes running, eager to calm him. But as they lock themselves in another crushing embrace, an unspoken promise of forever, he’s glad for their journey, travelling from once being absolutely nothing to two people prepared to spend the rest of their lives together, glad that the tears Tooru (Tooru) has let fall have transformed from inexplicable to something he’s permitted to see, to understand.

And, from today on, he’ll gladly kiss them away every time.

**Author's Note:**

> let it be known that i will never stop promo-ing this zine because 
> 
> 1\. oikage  
> 2\. zINE  
> 3\. OIKAGE ZINE  
> 4\. proceeds go to charity!!!  
> 5\. i'm in it
> 
> if you liked this piece, bruh, the other ones in the zine are loads better. (home shopping network voice) BUY NOW!


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